I can definitely see the Mouser's torso is off. It needs to lean forward more and be tilted a bit to the (your) right (his left). I do like the arm position though. He uses a rapier named Scalpel and also carries a dirk called Cat's Claw (Fafhrd's longsword is called Graywand) as well as his sling (which makes him sort of David-ish, slaying giants as it were).
If Mouser is more a normal man rather than superhero, the power in the legs could be thinned down a bit to better match the normal-sized arms. And if you want him to be caight in a strike motion, his upper body would be moving more towards us and his right arm would be moving past his crotch. His underarm would start lower, as we'd be seeing more of the top of his back in that case. I liquified your sketch to try and show you what I mean example here.
Thanx for the redraw Shellage! Yeah, that's pretty much what I need to do (and you're right about the leg... that knee was a bit wide).
I've noticed something else that bugs me about this version. Look at their body language..... both of them are crossing an arm in front of their chest, like they're trying to hide, and they kind of have their heads ducked down into their bodies.
Interesting... In my imagination, I painted in hundreds of foes surrounding them. The guarded body language -- rather than "bring it on!" -- made sense in the context of an overwelming and immediate threat.
...nicely done, the only bit that bothers me is the back/shoulder area, seems a little awkward.....may just need some definition, or to hide under clothing :) As for the poses, I read it the same way as Sven...surprise attack....ambush?
I appreciate you guys all trying to make up excuses for me, but I really think I need to change the poses a little. One thing this illo definitely needs is powerful heroic poses. Faf is basically almost there, but when both he and the GM have an arm crossed in front, it just reads as too.... closed off.
I think it';s good that I noticed this and was able to do something about it. See, this is exactly the kind of thing I wanted to learn from this experience.... it's not something I would have really thought of before (until too late).
6 comments:
I can definitely see the Mouser's torso is off. It needs to lean forward more and be tilted a bit to the (your) right (his left). I do like the arm position though. He uses a rapier named Scalpel and also carries a dirk called Cat's Claw (Fafhrd's longsword is called Graywand) as well as his sling (which makes him sort of David-ish, slaying giants as it were).
If Mouser is more a normal man rather than superhero, the power in the legs could be thinned down a bit to better match the normal-sized arms. And if you want him to be caight in a strike motion, his upper body would be moving more towards us and his right arm would be moving past his crotch. His underarm would start lower, as we'd be seeing more of the top of his back in that case. I liquified your sketch to try and show you what I mean example
here.
Thanx for the redraw Shellage! Yeah, that's pretty much what I need to do (and you're right about the leg... that knee was a bit wide).
I've noticed something else that bugs me about this version. Look at their body language..... both of them are crossing an arm in front of their chest, like they're trying to hide, and they kind of have their heads ducked down into their bodies.
Interesting... In my imagination, I painted in hundreds of foes surrounding them. The guarded body language -- rather than "bring it on!" -- made sense in the context of an overwelming and immediate threat.
...nicely done, the only bit that bothers me is the back/shoulder area, seems a little awkward.....may just need some definition, or to hide under clothing :)
As for the poses, I read it the same way as Sven...surprise attack....ambush?
Oh yeah, the back is... farkled. ;)
I appreciate you guys all trying to make up excuses for me, but I really think I need to change the poses a little. One thing this illo definitely needs is powerful heroic poses. Faf is basically almost there, but when both he and the GM have an arm crossed in front, it just reads as too.... closed off.
I think it';s good that I noticed this and was able to do something about it. See, this is exactly the kind of thing I wanted to learn from this experience.... it's not something I would have really thought of before (until too late).
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